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THE CHRONIC ILLNESS WAR – FOGGY, GROGGY, AND PAIN – MY OPPONENTS

THE CHRONIC ILLNESS WAR – FOGGY, GROGGY, AND PAIN – MY OPPONENTS

THE C.I. WAR
THE CHRONIC ILLNESS WAR

 

FOGGY, GROGGY, AND PAIN –

MY OPPONENTS  

 

Today I would like to talk about the war that people who are chronically ill are in.  The fight begins again every morning when we get up (if you slept at all) lasts through the day and starts anew again every morning.  The skirmishes go on all day and only end when you are finally able to close your eyes and sleep if you do.

 

THE THREE MAIN OPPONENTS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

FOGGY 

FOGGY, MY FIRST OPPONENT
MY FIRST OPPONENT IS FOGGY

This first soldier against me attacks often by not letting me think clearly or making me forget important things like appointments, or in some cases family members’ names.  Not to mention when he prevents me from finding the word I want to say or replaces it with a word that is not even close to what I was going for.

For example:  the other day I was talking to my son and we were talking about something insignificant but what I wanted to say was that there was a better way to do whatever it was we were talking about and I said “flowers do it like this and it is worrier and easier”, of course, what I meant was that some people (sorry can’t get it to come to the surface) do it like this and find it faster and easier.

My son, aware that I have problems at times, burst out laughing and the message I was trying to convey got totally lost because neither one of us could keep a straight face and wound up doubled over in laughter.

Foggy keeps my mind wrapped in fuzz and prevents me from stepping out of it or pushing through it.  Most days, I’m lucky if I remember anything and if I can put an entire sentence together.

Foggy makes me feel like I am brain damaged in some way or even worse just plain stupid.  It is embarrassing to not be able to hold a conversation with someone without stopping to look for the right word or stumbling on and quite often using a very wrong word.

MY SECOND OPPONENT IS:   GROGGY 

MY SECOND OPPONENT - GROGGY
GROGGY – MY SECOND OPPONENT

Groggy attacks at the same time as Foggy. He causes me to be sleepy almost all of the time.  I can be sitting writing and all of a sudden I am struggling to keep my head up and my eyes open.  The worst part is that it can happen at any time, like while I’m preparing dinner, or getting dressed in the morning. It forces me to sit down and rest for a moment and then I start doing the head bob.

Like Foggy, Groggy makes it very hard to concentrate on what I’m doing, but usually in a more physical sense.  Like when I’m standing at the counter with a knife in my hand getting everything prepped for dinner and all of a sudden the knife is so heavy I can’t lift it, the fatigue becomes so intense that my legs start acting like they won’t hold me up, my head feels like it is way too heavy for my neck and my hands and arms become so heavy they are almost useless.

At times like these, I try very hard not to let anyone know just how bad it is because then my husband would step in, make me sit down and he would have to carry on and that’s just not fair.  I usually excuse myself and make a quick trip to the bathroom, sit down and get a cloth and try to keep myself awake and functioning.  After a few minutes I can shake it off a little and finish getting dinner on the table then I collapse into my chair and will be there for most of the rest of the night.

The way I see it is, that Groggy is like an extra layer of fuzz that protects Foggy and helps him make you feel like an imbecile.

 

THE LAST OPPONENT I’M GOING TO TALK ABOUT IS:   PAIN

PAIN IS MY 3RD OPPONENT
THE THIRD OPPONENT IS PAIN

Pain may be the hardest to deal with, he tries to keep your mind and body busy so Foggy and Groggy can get around behind you and catch you at a disadvantage.  

For me, pain is something that I deal with all day long every day.  I try very hard to put pain in a box every morning so that I can perhaps have some luck in getting things done, but, I never quite get him all the way in so he leaks out all day long.  

Pain is really good at preventing me from doing as much housework as I would like.  He is good at keeping me right on the brink of screaming and giving up.

Pain has accomplices that help him, they are those who say “Why don’t you just take another pill?”, or why don’t you just stop and take a breather, knowing full well that if I stop it is almost impossible to start going again.

Pain is sneaky, he eases up a little bit so that you think that you can do something and then ‘BAM’ he comes roaring back and laughs at how much he can slow you down.  I think PAIN is what the psychologists call a sadist, always pulling the rug out from under your feet.

SUMMING IT UP

These are my three main opponents, there are others that pop their heads up every once in a while during the day but these three make it their mission to sabotage me in every way possible.

I am sure that there are many of you out there that feel the same.  I cannot be the only one that finds their chronic illness is a war they are engaged in.

Perhaps this is not the way I should look at it, but I find it easier to think of them as individual opponents instead of one entity throwing everything he has at me.  I am a glass half full person, so if I think of them as individual components then it is easier for me to keep fighting.

How about you, do you see your illness as a single entity or do you break them down into manageable pieces like me?

Next week – Ways to Fight Against Them.

FIGHTING BACK
FIGHTING BACK

 

 

THINGS I LOVE, USE, OR MAKE

This week I want to tell you about a little thing that I detest rather than love.  Over the last couple of weeks, I have spent more time on social media, trying to keep up with what is going on in the world.  I have found something that has kind of knocked me sideways, on all the platforms from Facebook to Instagram I have noticed a trend towards real nastiness.  

Now don’t get me wrong we all know about the haters that are out there, those people whose only mission in life is to try to destroy someones’ confidence or who tries to bring you to the brink of tears with their tear down of your personality, your looks,  and your integrity.

The trend I’m talking about is the trend towards just general nastiness, in one case a girl had posted how she’d fallen and broken her leg and some of the comments had me in tears.  Things like “Too bad you didn’t kill yourself”  or “Wish there had been more blood”,  WTF is going on?

Where has this bitterness and callousness come from, I know that there have always been a few incidents like this but all of a sudden there is more and more of it?  

Are we really becoming that hard hearted that we would tear down innocents and injured people for fun?  Are we so sick of what is going on in the world that we have let it infect us with a need to hurt others in order to feel better about ourselves?

Are we going to stand by and let these sick and twisted people become the most prevalent voices on the internet, spreading their message of anger, and hatred, and disrespect for others?  

I do not want to lead a movement or incite others to take a stand, but come on people, whatever happened to the Golden Rule?  “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  Is that so lost that we can stand by and watch as the thing that we all depend on now is turned into a place of disgusting comments and just plain rude behaviour? 

The other day I commented on a post and my response was meant to be taken as a kind of joke.  I simply said that I wouldn’t be able to do that to save my life, that all the heat and smoke from the fires here was making it almost impossible just to get up in the morning.  (Not an exact quote cause I can’t remember exactly the wording.)  

It was completely taken the wrong way as if the person had expected to get some rough feedback and that’s what she thought mine was.  I got back to her right away and apologized if it had sounded like that,  that I was just poking fun at myself mostly. We worked it out and I believe she understood in the end that I had meant no harm.  

However, when I think back on it now, she had immediately jumped to the conclusion that I was disrespecting her in some way; has it come so far that we actually expect to get dissed?  I can only say that I will be watching the way I say things to keep from being misunderstood from now on.

What do you think?

 

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

 

Rising Above his narcissistic smear campaign with this flying monkeys!

 

This one is to tie in with what I said in THINGS,  we all shine in our own way let’s remember that and try to be kinder to each other.

As usual, this one comes from Pinterest and was the reason my THINGS post was on the topic.  My thanks to Heartfeltquotes.blogspot.com for posting this.

 

 

FAMILY LIFE 

 

The past couple of weeks have been kind of odd.  We were supposed to be on holiday but on the Friday before, Hawkeye’s union served 72-hour strike notice.  So on the Monday, it was in effect and holidays had to be postponed so he could take his turn on the picket lines.  He only has to do a couple of days a week so he has been around most of the time.

At the same time, my son is visiting his girlfriend and has been gone a couple of weeks as well.  My daughter has been spending most of her time out of the house with her friends when she isn’t working so we haven’t seen very much of her other than for her to pop home after work change and be gone.

Hawkeye and I and the dogs have had a mostly peaceful (after all the dogs do bark) couple of weeks, it has given us some great insight into what it is going to be like when we are truly empty nesters.  I have to say that I really have enjoyed the quiet time with Hawkeye and while I love my kids and I did miss them sort of, I think I might be OK when they are finally both gone.  

Please don’t get me wrong, I love them beyond reason but in a way when they are both gone and living outside our home, I am going to be proud of myself for having raised two capable, strong, and kind individuals.  I will know that I did my job well, that all the time and effort and heartbreak and fun that has gone into raising them will have been worth every second.

I am extremely proud of both my children, they have grown up to be wonderful people.  I suppose now it is time to let them go and take their gifts and their knowledge into the world.

 

RECIPE OF THE WEEK

 

I was really bad while I was on holiday and didn’t take any pictures of some of the recipes I made, so this week I am going to give you a link to an old post of mine that shows you 5 recipes to be made from 1 recipe.  I make these at least a couple times a week because they are quick and easy and so darn good, Baking Powder Biscuits and what else you can use the dough for is in the link below.  

 

THIS WAS BEFORE I CHANGED THE NAME TO BARB’S OUTLOOK 

https://wp.me/p8bPwH-1fl

 

 

 

Well, that’s it for this week.  I hope you all have a safe and productive week, and I will see you here next Tuesday.

 

 

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