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WILLIE AND BAILEY
WILLIE AND BAILEY

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Category: WILLIE AND BAILEY

HOW TO COPE WITH THE CRAP IN EVERYDAY LIFE, DAYDREAM!

HOW TO COPE WITH THE CRAP IN EVERYDAY LIFE, DAYDREAM!

 DAYDREAMS

 

We all have them; they are like mini vacations for our brains when they are overloaded.  They can also be useful for working sh*t out; we use them when we worry, when we tire; when we are bored, or scared or inattentive.

Did you know, I didn’t, but I think it’s interesting, that you have less and less of them as you get older, and the reason for that appears to be because as we get older, the way to deal with unpleasant things is something that we have a strategy for?  Young people are more likely to daydream about worrying situations, us old guys (sorry), we use daydreams to take us out of a situation when we need a little time away from everyday life.

MY DAYDREAMS 

For myself, I deliberately use them to help with the pain, as you know I am always in flare, so every day I take a little time away in my head, it helps me cope.  Sometimes it’s a couple of minutes; sometimes it’s up to half an hour.  I go to an imaginary place in my mind where it is always summer, and I am sitting on the dock of a cabin beside a lake, I can hear the birds singing, the leaves rustling in the wind, even boats going by on the other side of the lake.  It’s peaceful, and there is no pain there.

I often wonder if others with chronic illness do the same thing, do you get away from your body for a little bit every day?

DAYDREAMS HELP PREPARE FOR SCARY THINGS 

At my age now, there is not much that worries me, my husband having prostate cancer, my son getting married, those are the kind of things that pick at my brain.  

I remember the very first time I was going to have to get up in front of people and make a short speech; I went over it and over it in my mind; deliberately imagining the worst that could happen.  For example, you stand up to speak, and nothing but gibberish comes out of your mouth, and everyone is looking at you with their heads’ cocked like a dog’s wondering what the hell I am saying; or I stand up open my mouth, and nothing comes out. 

I tried very hard to imagine every possibility except the one that actually happened.  I stood up and went completely blank, I had no idea why I was there, what I as talking about, absolutely blank; then I started laughing and told everyone what had happened, they all laughed along with me, not at me, and then the whole thing came flooding back, and we carried on.

INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT DAYDREAMING 

  • You are neither asleep nor awake when you daydream, you are in a place where you are not aware of things around you, but if you had to come to attention quickly you could.
  • Sigmund Freud used to deliberately dream about a naked Greta Garbo riding on a horse.  I wonder if he ever psychoanalysed himself.  Hmmmmm.
  • Daydreaming is a right brain thing, according to neuroscientists what happens is that you are using your left brain for some kind of work that is not stimulating, so your right brain takes over and gives you a vision of something more entertaining to focus on.
  • Athletes, Musicians, and Business leaders deliberately use it to envision positive outcomes for their efforts.  We have all heard of the system of visualising what you want, see it happening, and voila` it happens, turns out that this is a form of daydreaming but used deliberately, kind of like my lakeside getaway.
  • Those few moments that you are somewhere else can relieve stress, improve mindset, foster creativity and refreshes the body, mind, and spirit.
  • Daydreaming may give you access to areas of your brain that retain information, so that when you ‘wake’ you may have come up with some magical insight into a problem or creatively come up with a way of solving a problem.
  • The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it as a “pleasant visionary, usually wishful creation of the imagination”.  By that definition, it appears that daydreaming is proving to be a lot like the mini vacation I mentioned at the outset.
  • Dr Muireann Irish, Neuroscientist, said “DAYDREAMING IS HARD WORK AND SERVES SOME VERY IMPORTANT FUNCTIONS. THE CAPACITY TO REMEMBER THE PAST AND IMAGINE THE FUTURE  IS A VERY COMPLEX FORM OF THINKING”
  • It’s noted that daydreaming improves performance and productivity, and is thought to be a sign of an active and healthy brain.  It seems to be a good indication of the brain’s ability to retain and recall information in the face of distractions, or as they say ‘working memory.’

 

DAYDREAMING AND CHRONIC ILLNESS

I searched and searched for anything that there might be on using daydreaming to; or if daydreaming helps with coping with the pain and other symptoms of chronic illness.  There was no literature that I could find on the benefits of it, but there were articles on how it can be bad for you.  

They call it Maladaptive Daydreaming, it is where you get so into the daydreaming you can’t, or somehow you forget to, or you choose not to return to real life.  This becomes a disorder all its own, let’s not do that.

I use it when my left eye goes blind, when all of a sudden my arms aren’t working, or when the fibro fog gets so bad that just thinking becomes impossible.

 

HOW TO DAYDREAM DELIBERATELY

If you have never done it deliberately, let me give you a couple of pointers.  The first time or the second time you try it may not work, but keep at it day after day and eventually, you will be at the lakeside cabin or a beach in the Caribbean, or a chalet in the Swiss Alps, whatever peace is for you.

Build it slowly in your mind, make sure you include everything that would make you feel calm and worry free.  If you are on the beach, hear the waves falling on the beach, the seabirds crying about the fish that got away.  Or, if the Swiss Chalet is your idea of peace, smell the wood from the fire, hear the wind blowing the snow against the windows. Every day add a little bit more until it is the perfect place for you.  

Even if you can only get there a couple of times a week, it seems to help with getting through the tough days.  Those days when you are curled up in a ball because the pain is so bad, go to your peaceful place, and the pain doesn’t follow, it may only be a brief respite, but at least it’s something.

Daydream deliberately, it is the only way that I know of to get away from the pain; and I know that some days nothing will help, but give it a try.  Just don’t forget to come back.

 

 

THINGS I LOVE, USE, MAKE 

Today’s little nugget of goodness is an online shopping site called Zulily.  I love and use it at least a couple of times a week, who am I kidding, I go there every day to see what’s new.  You sign up, and then every morning they send you an email with what’s new on the site.

At this time of year, they always seem to have sales on things that I admired back in the fall as well as things for spring and summer.  Yesterday, I picked up three tops, one for $6.99 and the other two for $9.99, now these were tops that went for over $50.00 each back in the fall, so I just indicated I liked them by highlighting the little heart; and every time they come back around I get a notification that something I liked will be on tomorrow’s New Today list.

Now, you have to be careful, because they only have so many in each of the sizes and they are only there for a set amount of time, but if you pay attention to the prices when you see them originally, and they bring them back around at sale time you can get a pretty good deal.  These items are all discounted anyway, and then they go on sale.

You can get things like Michael Kors purses, or Kate Spade.  Ray Bans that are still ridiculously expensive even with a discount, but there are knock-offs that are very similar.  Coach stuff, and Jessica Simpson clothing and accessories, there are shoes and stuff for kids and babies. Some of it is just crazy expensive, but others are a really good deal.

My latest purchases, were sheet sets, 700 thread count and I got them for 29.99 for a queen set, I bought three, then I saw a comforter set that was lovely, and I got it for less than $30.  Believe me; they have everything from things for your pets, to curtains for the windows, home decor and storage, to bathing suits and jewellery and every now and then they have stuff for the office or planners.  Honestly, you could go crazy on this site.

I just went on the site a few minutes ago to see if I could find any particular deals, and what I found was a high-end clothing line for kids clothes that are on up to 75% off.  The page that I looked at they had a little boys outfit, probably for between 1 -2 years old, regularly $91.00 for $16.99, and a little girl’s really pretty party dress that was regularly $102.00 for $19.99

So, go and have a look at Zulily.com, you might be surprised at what you find. And no, I have no affiliation with them, I just love the site.

 

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

 

Whether you’re experiencing an episode of depression in this season or it has been an ongoing battle, here are 11 quotes to encourage your spirit.

 

I love Pinterest; they always have something that touches me in some way.  I thought this one went along well with the Daydreams post.  As usual, though, there is no mention of the author, so I will just say that I am grateful that someone put pen to paper for this one.

Be proud of who you are and what you can offer the world because don’t forget even if like me you don’t get out much; you still have a voice that can be heard if you want it to be.

Fairy Garden update, had no time at all on the project this week.  I’m taking too many courses right now, and they are all taking up my time.  But, in the end, it will be worth it, I hope because I will be able to talk to you much easier and give you so much more than I have until now.

 

FAMILY LIFE or THE WILLIE AND BAILEY PART OF THE BLOG.

Do you ever wonder if there’s someone in your house that you don’t know about, and he, she, or it spends an awful lot of time screwing around with things?   Like your favourite coffee mug is not in the cupboard, it is now located in the pot drawer, or the sweater you were planning on wearing and that should have been in your closet is somehow in the basement with a dog lying on it; weird things that happen and there is no reason for it.

No, I’m not talking about a ghost, I’m talking about Mr I Don’t Know.  My kids are adults now but Mr I Don’t Know still shows up almost every day.   He plays with our minds and tricks us into believing we are losing ours because you know as well as I do if I ask ‘who dunnit’ (had to, lol) then the answer will always be I don’t know.

Mr I Don’t Know has lived in my house since my kids learned to speak, funny how that happened.  I always assumed (and yes we know what that means) that he would move to somebody else’s house when the kids got old enough.  I’m just not sure now, what’s old enough.

Willie and Bailey have been their usual selves, running around the house, sounding like elephants on the stairs (how is that possible for two such small dogs) and ripping apart anything that has even the slightest stuffing.  I use to hope that when Bailey came, she would be a good influence on Willie and things wouldn’t be unstuffed anymore, I should have known better.

Well here are some new pictures of the little darlings:

Daydreams - Bailey on the run
Bailey on the Run

 

Daydreams - Willie and Bailey in the sun
Willie and Bailey enjoying the sunny day

 

Daydreams - Willie & Bailey with Mummy's Cane
They never look at you at the same time, no matter how hard I try

 

 

 

RECIPE OF THE WEEK

 

CARAMEL APPLES WITH PORK STEAKS,

STEAMED BROCCOLI & FLUFFY RICE 

Caramel Apples with Pork Steaks

 

Daydreams - Recipe - Caramel Apples with Pork Steaks
Ready to Eat – Caramel Apples with Pork Steaks, Steamed Broccoli, and Rice. Oh, can’t forget the Caramel Sauce!

 

YUMMMM!

 

OK, that about does it for this week.  Just a reminder to take care of you, have fun, laugh alot, and take time to be grateful for the life you have even if it isn’t the one you wanted.

By the way,  for those of you who signed up last week, I’m so sorry, I have screwed up, I didn’t link everything together properly, so you did not get your download, if you send me an email to Barb@barbsoutlook.com, I’ll make sure that the copy gets sent through.

If you didn’t sign up, then why not do so now and get “HOW TO CREATE A CLEANING SCHEDULE THAT WORKS FOR YOU”  free.

Have a great week and a terrific weekend, Happy Mother’s Day to all of you, whether it is fur babies or real ones.

Bye for now.

I KNOW A SUPERWOMAN – BUT I SO DO NOT WANT TO BE HER

I KNOW A SUPERWOMAN – BUT I SO DO NOT WANT TO BE HER

I know a woman who to my mind at least, is a Superwoman.  She works full-time, she blogs three days a week, keeps her house spotless, herself perfectly groomed, her family fed and looked after, and she hates how busy she is.

Her day starts at 4:30 am, she gets up, wakes her husband then heads to the kitchen to make his breakfast and his lunch.  Irons a shirt for him every day because he prefers how they feel when freshly ironed.  She takes care of him until 5:30 when he leaves to go to work.

From 5:30 – 7 am, she exercises, showers, completes one chore and then makes breakfast and lunches for her two adult male children.  Oh, I forgot, she puts in one load of laundry.

She wakes the boys at 7 am and then heads downstairs to throw the laundry into the drier.  She then sits down with her boys and has breakfast.

Does the breakfast dishes, then drops both boys at the bus stop by 8 am so they can get to work by 8:30.

FOR SUPERWOMAN IT IS TIME TO WORK 

She also starts work at 8:30, but is always there early as it is her business.  Her employees begin at 9 am, by that time she has dealt with her email, made at least two phone calls, and prepped what she wants her employees to work on.

She then reviews all of the information about her first client before they arrive.  When the client arrives, she takes him/her to her office and gives them her trademark personal service.  She is a lawyer and deals with small business concerns.

Once her clients for the morning have been dealt with, she prepares for Court in the afternoon.  She does not eat lunch as there is no time before she has to leave for Court.  Her Court time is usually between 2 and 4 hours; then she heads home.  This part really blew me away, she makes dinner for her husband and the boys and leaves it in a warm oven to stay warm for them.

She then heads back to the office and works until about 7:30 or 8 pm.

She gets home, has her dinner, does the dishes, does one more chore, then folds and puts away the stuff from the dryer that she turned on this morning.

She heads to her home office, sits down and begins work on her blog.  At 11:30 pm she heads back to the kitchen to pull out everything she needs to make a crock pot meal tomorrow.  She preps everything and then sticks the pan into the fridge, does all the dishes she just created, dries and puts them away, has a quick look around the house for things that aren’t where they are supposed to be, puts them back where they belong, then heads to bed.

She cleans up and tries to be very quiet, as her husband has been in bed for at least 3 hours, lays out what she will want for tomorrow and finally heads to bed.  It is 12:30 am.

SHE TRULY IS SUPERWOMAN

By this point, I can hear you all saying “Yeah, right.  She’s handing you a line of bull.”

But, I am telling you that this was her day.  I had asked her if I could shadow her for one day and after informing me that her day starts at 4:30 am said I was welcome to come if I wanted.

I followed her the whole day and despite the fact that I knew I would be laid up for a few days.  I hung around until she went to bed.  I spent the night at her house.

SUPERWOMAN RISES AGAIN

She got up the following morning at 4:30 am and started over again.  She wanted to let me sleep until 7 when she woke the boys, but I set the alarm on my phone for 4:30 so I would know whether or not her previous day was a one off.

She did everything that she had the day before except for the chore, it was a different one this morning, then she also made cinnamon rolls, stripped the bed I had slept in and got everything into the laundry.  I apologised to her for giving her more work, and she told me not to be silly, she had enjoyed having the day with me as she doesn’t get time to see me much anymore.

She dropped her boys off and then drove me home.  I was swaying on my feet almost not able to stand at all; she helped me into the house, got me set up on the couch, gave me a hug.  Told me that she had had a wonderful time and then left for work.

THE SUPERWOMAN INTERVIEW 

We had arranged to meet the following Sunday so I could ask her some questions about her life.

We couldn’t meet on Saturday because that was her house cleaning day, all the chores she does during the week are just to keep things tidy until Saturday.

I couldn’t quite get my head around that because that first chore on Monday was cleaning the main bathroom, and she did it from top to bottom, including walls, floors and windows.  The one on Tuesday before she drove me home was dusting the house, the whole house.

 

SUPERWOMAN ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS

When we sat down on Sunday afternoon, I told her I thought she was crazy.  I asked her why she didn’t turn to her husband and boys to help with the housework, this is what she told me:

“I chose to be an independent lawyer.  I decided I would not be part of someone else’s firm. It was my decision to start a blog and post three times a week.  I am responsible for my home by my own decision.  I choose to allow my husband to relax when he gets home, he takes care of the outside and I take care of the inside.  My boys will have their time to be responsible, besides they do help on Saturdays, one vacuums and the other washes the floors for me.  I just choose to let them enjoy their time off during the week by not asking them to do anything else.”

She followed that up with “this is the life I chose for me; when the boys are gone and its just Hubby and me (sorry I promised her no names) maybe things will have slowed down enough that I will be able to take some time for me.

I just sat and stared at her for a moment, I was flabbergasted that someone could be that selfless.  She chooses to be this busy, she chooses to not accept help during the week, she chooses to be this Superwoman.

My next question was about what she had told me “that she hated being so busy all the time.”  I asked her if she hated it that much, why didn’t she just leave the blogging until she was done working, or why she didn’t just leave the house until the weekends?

Her response was “I chose this life for myself.”

I just nodded and went on to my next question, “When was the last time you took a day just for you?”

She laughed and said, “Last Monday, of course, I got to spend the day with you.”

INTERVIEW IS OVER 

I burst into tears on just how little she made time for herself.  She was totally surprised by my tears, she said “You’re not to cry for me, I had a great time the other day, didn’t you?  We got to talk and laugh and have a good time together.  What more could I ask for than to spend time with one of my greatest friends?  No, don’t you dare cry for me, it was fun, and this life is my choice.”

As I left I gave her a big hug and asked her to please try and take time for herself every day.  She just nodded.

 

MY THOUGHTS ON SUPERWOMAN

Ladies out there, be thankful for the life you have.  I swear that day that I shadowed her she did not have one moment of the entire day when she wasn’t busy doing something.

I thank God for my husband and children, they would never have let me get away with doing everything, even before I got so bad.  I can tell you for sure that my husband would not be happy with that life, as far as he is concerned the house, inside and out, is OUR responsibility, that we are partners and work together for the benefit of our home.

Like her, I only want what makes my family happy, but I so do not want to be her.  If my home is a little cluttered or messy, I can live with that; if it’s not spotless and dust free, I can live with that; I could not live thinking that everything had to be perfect every moment.  How about you?

 

THINGS I LOVE, USE, OR MAKE

I make some of my own cleaning products.  Today I would like to share with you two recipes for window/glass cleaner that really work and take the place of the expensive brand in the store.  Mine also make the windows so clean that crows could fly into them.

Recipe 1

1/4 Cup     Rubbing Alcohol

1/4 Cup     White Vinegar

1 Tbsp        Cornstarch

2 Cups        Warm Water

1                   Spray Bottle

Put all ingredients into the spray bottle and shake to combine.  Then use as you would the store bought kind.

 

Recipe 2

1/8 Cup      White Ammonia

1/4 Cup       Rubbing Alcohol

1 tsp.            Dish Detergent (Dawn Original)

Warm Water

1                     Spray Bottle

Same as above,  put all the ingredients into the bottle then add warm water until its full, then shake to combine and use as you would store bought.

PS:  I didn’t get much chance last week to work on the Fairy Garden, but I’m hoping to have more time this week.  Will keep you updated as I go.

 

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

QUOTE OF THE WEEK 04/24 - 04/30
QUOTE OF THE WEEK FOR APR. 24-APR. 30

 

This inspired me this week, I am imperfect, I am weird (ask anybody), I am just me; so this inspired me to be proud of who I am, of what I do, of who I care about, and what I believe in.  What more can you ask of a quote?

I hope it inspires you to be just you.

As always this one came from Pinterest

 

 

I had a very bad week this past week, so I think I’m just going to call the post up top the Family Life post and leave it at that for this week.

Of course,  I couldn’t leave you without a picture of the puppers.  Fighting again in the living room, you can see behind them what is supposed to be their beds, but we just use them as a toy box because they do not like to sleep alone, they must invade our bed each night.  Some nights Hawkeye would like to shoot them both, all they want to do is play and he gets up at 3 am.

 

Fighting again
The little darling always goes for the throat. Bailey and Willie play fighting again.

 

RECIPE OF THE WEEK

PRAWN, ASPARAGUS, AND RED PEPPER ALFREDO

WITH PENNE PASTA 

https://wp.me/p8bPwH-1ST

 

That’s it for this week, I hope you have a wonderful week, that the weekend is clear with warm blue skies, and that you are healthy, wealthy, and wise. (Sorry couldn’t resist)

Take care, and Hey! leave me a comment, the comment button is at the top of the post.  I would love to hear what you think, and I would love to hear how you liked the recipe.

See you next Tuesday.